Good bye hair!

Well, when I got up this morning, I ran my fingers through my hair and got a big wad. Don't know how long it will take until i'm bald but it seems to be coming out pretty quick today. Being a woman and bald just doesn't seem to go together. i've known this would happen for a month but still no way to prepare for it. it is just something you have to experience.

I am still pretty tired and some headache and nausua. I am hoping this will subside by my treatment fri. please be in prayer that my system is up before the next treatment. This is a very hard thing to go through. I sympathasize with anyone who is going through or has been through this. Chemo is rough and some days i feel like it is kickin my butt! But then God gives me a brand new day and sends people with encouraging words or i have a good cry and things are better.

Did I tell you roger got a job after being unemployed for four months? he started training this week from seven to seven and i don't even get to talk to him on breaks. it is really hard, because he's been with me each day, each step of the way. i miss him like crazy!

Well after the next treatment i will get the shop that keeps my wbc countup. maybe that will keep me from feelin so lousy and iwill be able towork more. i miss my clients!

Well, i guess that's all for now. Roger will be off in 21 minutes and i need to call and check on zack.

The best high is the most high!

Michele

Back to Memorial!

Hey everyone. I hope you all had a blessed day!
i started havin a bad headache about eight o clock last night and it went on all night. it was so bad I was up about two o'clock til three o'clock. i called my oncologist and he wanted me to come in. They took blood and I found out that my white blood counts were still low but my platelets were beginning to come up. He said they would expect them to be rising by the seventeenth day of treatment and was afraid that i might pick up a bacterial infection. He also said that after my next treatment I would get a shot to help my levels stay up in normal range.
He prescribed me two antibiotics for seven days and something to relieve my headaches. the bad thing is he thinks the headaches are a side effect of the med i am taking for nausua.
So, I am still in until fri. Hopefully by then, my counts will be back up and stay up for at least a week. it really makes a difference in how i feel i have learned!
The bad part of it all is that i can't work and i don't get paid if i don't make my visits. so, i am pretty broke. but i also know that the Bible tells me that "God will supply all my needs according to his riches in heaven."
I do have a praise. Zack drove me to doctor and we were able to talk some. He really is an awesome boy. I also saw Steph last night for a while. And Roger started training for his new job. Please pray for him. It is 12 hour shifts and he has been out for a while.
I want to recommend reading Psalm 27. i just read it a few minutes ago. it is awesome.
One thing I still know is the God is good through it all.
Goodnite!

Saturday night

Hey everyone.

It is saturday night. I've stayed home for the past two days except for going out an hour today when a friend came by and took me to eat. we used hand gel, hand gel, hand gel and didn't touch anyone. We have watched movies and roger and I cooked spaghette. Zack has been home all day and Garrett came over with Roger so it has been awesome having him here.

Still tired and not much appetite but those are normal side effects. We are having our groundbreaking ceremony at church tomorrow and i am debating going and sitting in the car! Will see how i feel in the morning.

Well, I have managed to stay awake today without napping. that's improvement. Looking forward to a "normal" week next week before friday's treatment.

Guess what. Roger is starting his new job monday. it's third shift so i'm sure it will take some getting used to. I am a little disappointed he probably wont get to go with me for my second treatment since he works fri. he has a calming , soothing effect on me. it really helped to have him there for the first. But I will make it. we all have to do what we have to do!

Everyone thinks it's odd that my hair hasn't come out yet! it hasn't even thinned. Who knows, Maybe God plans to keep it in. you know, he knows every hair on my head, so it's possible. We will just have to wait and see! Well have a good night and a blessed sunday!

A little down and out

Hey everyone.
I went up to memorial to have my blood levels checked this morning. I found out my white blood cell levels are low. this means i could easily pick up and infection. So... i have to isolate myselft the next two days. I asked about church sun and the research nurse said if i went, Roger would have to be my body guard and tell everyone they can't touch me! That would be so awkward because our church family is so affectionate. ithink it would make roger feel awkward too so more than likely, i'll be staying home which really was a downer for me. It is a blessing that i havent' seen my clients the last couple of days because i could have picked up anything the babies have. Anyway, now i know the second week will most likely be the week i will have to stay out of crowds and not work and now i know the explanation for the way i have been feeling. blah! According to my nurse, next week the levels will begin comingup and be normal before my next treatment.
I will be honest with you. i am really struggling knowing i still have five and a half months of treatment. i am wondering if i'm doing the right thing getting the chemo. after all, the lump was removed with good margins and no lymph node involvement. and God told me he would heal me. I just know that i could be living a normal life right now instead of enduring the side effects of the chemo. there is no guarantee i won't have a relapse of cancer anyway, the chemo just lowers the possibility. I am praying about this. I wish it was cut and dry for me. my body literally feels like it has been poisoned, I feel so week and not being able to do the things i want to do is so hard! God, please give me an answer. I am really struggling with this! And i know that this decision is one i have to make alone. I am a person who is full of life and it is hard to feel beat down! Hoping that the sun will shine through the clouds tomorrow!

hopefully worst is over!

Hey everyone.
I have had couple of bad days but this is to be expected with the treatment. i had terrible nausua and diarrhea yesterday, headach and fatigue. tried prescriptions i had on hand but didn't need to help. oncologist called me in some zophram which finally got my stomach settled down but still couldn't tolerate fool . however, it did make me sleep and sleep and sleep. this morning was some better. Got up, walked rusty and showered but about 12 stomach pains again. i have eaten a little and took zophram. hopefull, will be able to eat tonight since mom is coming over to cook fried squash! yea!
next week, i am supposed to be on the upswing until treatment next fri. also, i have my blood levels checked tomorrow as this is the time wbc can drop.
had to put of work for a couple of days. hoping i can make at least one or two home visits tomorrow, if not on mon. the last home visit i made , there was cigarette smoke in the house and made me feel so sick! If anyone knows anything i can take or eat to help with the tolerence please let me know. that is one of the drawbacks of my job but there are many benefits.
I wanted to report that roger( if you don't know him, you can see my pic at bottomof blogger page) my love , one year strong got a job after being unemployed for four months. so, this is a praise!
I had a good day with zack but still haven't seen steph in a while. please pray for me and kids . there is a lot going on right now and satan seems to be in attack mode.
God gave me this verse this morning and i looked it up. it is in Romans. it was one of the awana verses, i helped the kids with years ago.
For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone who believes. It made me think how the word is our power and my power to get through this valley! God is always right on time.
Hugs to you all.
Michele

Blah!

Blah today. Stayed up late dealing with issues with son. nobody ever said being a parent of teenagers and divorced would be easy. Didn't shower or get out today but did get garage cleaned out. Roger came over and helped cook but went home feeling bad with headache. I hope and pray he isn't getting sick. It is possible that my counts could drop this week.
any advice on dealing with a teenage son whose dad is out of pic for a year is appreciated.
I know that God didn;t promise us life would be easy, just that He would be with us each step of the way. just tired and headache! tomorrow will be better. I really feel that Satan is attacking my family. Will get in Word before bed. I have two awesome kids. They are just finding their way!
Nite. please comment.

Super Sunday!

Hey. Wanted to report that i had a really good day today. Church this morning, my nephew's party, went to pool for a while, back to church then out to eat with friends. Zack was at church tonight too so I was very proud! I also wore my new shirt, "fight like a girl" and got compliments and had a chance to tell what God has done for me this week. God has certainly given me a boldness through this that I haven't had before.
Iwant to brag on my awesome, amazing church family at Mount Rachel. They always lift me up with encouraging words and smiles. I just can't say how important having a church and church family is at this time in my life. I have other awesome friends as well who breathe life into me! There are so many people in my life that keep me going each and every day! I hope I am able to sew some seeds in their lives too.
Well, I think I am over the hump as well as the yucky feeling in my stomach. I pretty well "pigged out" today from lunch on on whatever I wanted and did fine with the acid reducer I take everyday. Then tonight we ate chinese and I had grilled veggies and rice, rice, rice and icecream. So far, handling it well. I do take an anxiety, nausea pill at night which i just took that helps me sleep but so far, not many meds at all. Thank you, Jesus.
I am getting ready to wrap it up for tonight. Planning on getting up tomorrow and setting up home visits for the week. Got five in next week, need a bigger paycheck this week. By the way, God came through on paying my bills this month. He is always right on time.
Love you all.
Remember, if God had a wallet, your pic would be in it! He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. His word always stands true.

Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world!