Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Hey Friends,
It has been a good day for me and I hope it has for you. I made a home visit this morning, went by and saw a friend, then came home and ate leftover chili from last night. Then i got on the computer and finished some paperwork I needed to do for work. This has been so hard for me to complete and I actually felt focused. And I feel that I have accomplished something!
Now, I have some online training for my job I need to tackle, then thinking about signing up for some college classes to keep my teaching certificate current. It makes me feel so much better to have a plan and to feel productive. A lot of things I don't feel that I am becauese I have so much down time and I don't have the energy to do anything. But I have figured out that if I get up ande get going in the mornings, i feel pretty good until around one or two o'clock , then I relax (usually I'm online and watching Days of our lives. lol) and rest up to cook dinner. Bedtime is usually about 9:30 so that is pretty much my day.
Please leave comments. I always check for them and I pray that God blesses each of you and that you see God's hand today.
Do you know the song "I saw God today." I often think of it and how you can see God in people and in nature if you just look. Take the time to look around. You will see God's fingerprints.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Hey friends.
I thought i would post an update since i went to oncologist fri for bloodwork. My white blood cells were low which is the usual pattern for two weeks after treatment. I just have to be very careful around other people, use tons of hand gel and avoid crowds. My nurse said the flu is going around and i am susceptable right now.
But I have had a good weekend. Roger has been off work this weekend so we have been together. He always makes me smile! Yesterday we watched college football together and took the kids to eat. we went at 4:00 tryin to miss the crowd but the hotwings place we went to was a little crowded becuase of the football game so i was very careful. i went to church today and sat in balcony, just me and roger. it is just a small area where cameras are. It was a good service but no hugs from my church family.
I wanted everyone to know that next fri is the last of the first phase of chemo. so, no more red devil after this friday!! i am glad. it is really hard on gi tract. The next phase is another kind of chemo weekly for twelve weeks so i am getting close to being halfway done with chemo. after that, radiation, which shouldn't be bad at all. The bad thing about the tumor was that it was triple negative which means i wont respond to any hormonal treatments that are usually used. that is why we have to hit it hard with chemo and radiation. it is a little scary that there is still a possibility of it coming back but it's all in God's hands right? i cant' wait to get back to living life to the fullest! and not being so broke! lol. But through it all, the surgery, the chemo , God has been good and his word holds true.
That's the update for now.
Hope everyone is doing well.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


Hi Friends,
I want to say that i'm sorry my entries have been very inspiring lately. I seem to be at the stage of my treatment that I am struggling a little. I really need to get in the Word more and please continue to lift me up in your prayers.

There is so much that goes with this: the worry, the financial strian, the fatigue and nausua, the humility from being bald, the weight gain. the depression. It is a struggle every day and it is truly too much for me to bear on my own. But i also know it is not too big for my God! I think I am guilty of trying to handle everything on my own lately instead of giving to Jesus. It seems that sometimes I give it to him, only to take it back later! Do you ever do that?

I have so much to be thankful for: my love, Roger; supportive family, church family and friends, all my needs met, healthy children, and strength for each day. But, I have been guilty of letting myself get down. Every day, I am able to get out of bed and accomplish something. That is more than a lot of people can do!

So, I am asking that you please pray that I am able to entirely give this to God and trust that he will take care of me and that I will take things one day at a time and know that God is with me each step of the way. I definitely think that there are only one set of footprints in the sand during this time of my life because the Lord is carrying me through! My God is mighty and able! We just have to keep looking toward the cross!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

ups and downs

Hey everyone.
I wanted to post an update on my treatment and progress. I have been very tired this week and have had crying spells at times. At other times i have been fine. I saw the research nurse on fri and she said that my fatigue is most likely the accumulation of the chemo in my body and my red blood cell count being a little low. She suggested i take a multivite to give me some energy. My white blood cell coumt was slightly but not dangerously low so i just have to be cautious about being around crouds. I am already on an antibiotic daily to ward off bacterial infections. So, that was about it.
I have to admit, it's getting harder to sit in the waiting room at the cancer enter. . Ilook around at all the other people, mostly older than me, who are sick and I think that this is a place I never thought I would find myself. I have also realized how hard it must be on my mom taking me for treatments. This is a hard thing on everyone involved. I am hoping that I can have a friend take me for my next treatment.

That said, I have had a pretty good weekend thus far. Roger cooked dinner for us last night and I went to the northwest football football game. it usually doesn't bother me to go in my scarf or hat but i knew there would be people there who i don't usually see and maybe didn't even know i was under treatment. Anyway, a friend from church assured me I could sit with her and it turned out that there were lots of people from my church and other friends that were so supportive. It wasn't hard at all. This just opens my eyes to how God works through his people. I had a great time and a friend brought me home just after half time. Being out around people breathes so much life into me! this morning, rusty and I went to panara where i got a yogurt parfait (so good) and to walmart. then i came home and rested. I have been able torest really well lately and that has been a blessing.

Tomorrow, church and steph said she is coming so i have been excited. That's about it. i'm just passing the time til Roger gets up and comes over before work.

Take care and remember you are unique and special and God has great plans for you.