Monday, August 31, 2009

Tired Today!

Hey everyone. I hope you have all had a good day.
I had an awesome weekend after the treatment. I got up sat and went to walmart and got some groceries then cooked stir fry for everyone! On sun. I went to both services and then to eat with church family which was so much fun.
But, so tired today. I had three appointments scheduled but one wasn't home. I came straight home, fixed a sandwich and went to bed around twelve. I didn't wake up until three. I am a little sick at my stomach but mostly just exhausted. Maybe I overdid it over the weekend.
I am hoping to have some energy back tomorrow!
Take Care!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

yesterday's treatment

Hey friends. I made it through my third treatment.
My mom and I arrived at memorial at 8:45 after driving in the rain. I had my labs done and good news, my wbc are in normal range! The bad news is , my rbc and hemoglobin is a little low so I have to try to eat more red meats to get it up a little , which i am already working on. I saw the doc and he said he was not gonna reduce the chemo because he wanted it to be and effective treatment but he did half the steroid dosage and give me and extra bag of fluid. I do not have to get the nulasta shot. Yea! Instead I will take an oral dose of augmentin everyday and proceed with caution.
So, I had my regular treatment which took about two and a half hours in all. The nurse had a little bit of a hard time accessing my port but other than that it went fine. After I finished there, I went to the radiologist who is in the building right next door. that's what is so good about the team approach. all my docs are under one roof and part of a team! He was a very nice looking, sweet doc. he examined me, said the surgical site looked good and talked to me about he radiation part of my treatment. It will start after 18 more weeks of chemo which will be in january. I have to have 33 treatments! I will have to go to memorial everyday but that's ok. i had rather stick with the team of doctors i have been using. the beam will go in one side of my breast and out of the other. nothing will be effected but breast tissue. he says by then i will be feeling better from finishing the chemo and that this will be the easiest part! the actual procedure only takes about 15 minutes.
When i left there, i realized i had ordered my m mend which is a very high powered, expensive, antinausua drug that i have to take the day of and two days after treatement. I started panicking! so i went back to my oncologist and explained what happened. they said not to worry, they would work something out. So, they had to put an iv in , this time in my arm not in my port and give it to me intravenously. so this took another hour . i am getting the other two overnight delivery today. Thank you Lord for a diligent, caring team of doctors!
We finally left a little after 3, got something to eat (with beaf of course) and stopped by the fabric store and my mom got me the coolest fabrics to make scarves! By this time though, i was exhausted. went home and collapsed and an awesome couple in my church family brought dinner. Aren't God's people the best. I rested at mom and dad's until i went home and went to bed. I am sooo thankful for my parents too.
Well, that's it. you are updated!
Hope you have a peaceful, restful weekend and are showered with blessings!

Thursday, August 27, 2009


Hey everyone! I hope all is well.
We had an awesome church service. Bro. Marty preached about the rapture and that always gets me excited! We had a great prayer time but my heart is broken for my friends, the Gambrells. They just found out that their three year old granddaughter has leukemia and starts treatment today. We were all so heartbroken. Her name is Kayla Gambrell and she will be at tc thompsons for eight months getting chemo! I just cant' imagine what they are going through. But Monica and Bear are such awesome Christians and they know where they get their strength!
I have a busy day. I am meeting a family at the health dept at 10:30 for a doctor's visit and going to help a friend on a writing assignment and then to lunch with her. Then I am hoping to have another appointment scheduled this afternoon. Busy is good because I am dreading tomorrow's treatment. I will be glad to get another one behind me but it is a long day and am not looking forward to the side effects next week. I have felt so well this week. It has been awesome. I certainly don't take well days for granted and am so thankful for them!
A friend gave me an awesome praise and worship cd which i am listening to. that really gets me going!
Well, I hope that God blesses you today according to his riches in heaven!
If God was small enough to be understood, he wouldn't be big enough to be worshipped!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

This is Ollie, our fat cat! When we found him two years ago, he was scragly, tiny and dirty. Now look at him! I think he weighs more than Rusty. He loves to eat; catfood, dogfood, it doesn't matter but the only people food he likes is yogurt! In this pic, he had sneaked into my closet for a nap. It is one of his favorite places. He is lazy in the house but still catches mice outside so I guess he does his job. That is our cat, Ollie!

Our pooch, Rusty

This is Rusty. He is our little terrior our neighbors gave us after we moved into our condo. He is sweet and loves to be a little lap dog so he has been good company to me lately. But he also loves to get out and run around the neighborhood which he gets in trouble for! He makes sure that I get my excercise by demanding his walk every morning. In the pic, he is on my bed wearing my hat. cute huh? That's our Rusty!

Sunday, August 23, 2009


Hello everyone. I haven't written a few days so i thought i would catch up. I went to get my blood work done on fri and my wbc were up in normal range, actually above, so that was a praise! it is the first time in four weeks. Kasey,the research nurse said it was from that awful nulesta shot i got. thank the Lord though, I don't have to get it again! Anyway, on thursday I came down with the sniffles and then cough so i have done nothing but go from the couch to the bed for two days. I am thinking that i am feelin a little better though. i have been up more this afternoon so hopefully by tomorrow i'll be much better. This friday, I will be halfway through the first leg of the treatment and one third through the total treatment. It look like by mid november, i'll be through with chemo and just radiation to go. That will be such a blessing and I can go on with my life, cancer free. Well, still a little tired, gonna get off.
Remember, If God had a wallet, your photo would be in it!
He adores you!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Other Side of the Glass

Hey everyone. I hope you are all doing awesome and are seeing God work in your lives! I certainly am.

I feel led to share with you a truly humbling experience I had this week and how I have grown from it. I hope it will mean something to you!

I have always been blessed in life. God has always met my needs. I have been able to go to college and get a degree to provide me with a salarly that provided well for me and my family.

However, because of the medical bills i am accumulating from the surgery and treatment, the nurse at Memorial suggested I try to get on medicaid the help with the bills. So.... on Tuesday, I found myself somewhere I never thought I would be, at family and children's services to be interviewed for financial help.

I have to say that this was a very hard thing for me, especially because I had a bad work experience there and knew the people "on the other side of the window." I don't know if you have ever been there but there is a hot, bare looking waiting room and then there is a glass with a little hole which the staff on the other side speaks to you through. You take a number, sit back down in one of those chairs that you have in school and , when your name is called, stand behind a line on the floor to talk to the person on the other side of the glass.

Well, I tell you, God was with me that day because I had only been there five minutes when someone pulled on the back of my scarve. It was one of my Spanish clients, a very nice lady whose daughter I have been seeing for about six months. She hugged me and I attempted to talk to her in very limited Spanish. She smiled and looked so glad to see me. I have to say it was a blessing that God sent a smiling familiar face and as I realized later, also a learning experience for me.

Well, when I went to the window, there was a man there who recognized me from when I was one of the ones "on the other side." He spoke and I told him my situation. My case worker came out and called my name and I followed him to has office. God was watchin over me though because, instead of being the typical overworked, underpaid DFACS worker, he was a young man with a degree in psychology who still had enthusiasm and wanted to try to make a difference in the world. He processed everything and I shared some about my situation. The visit went well, except for one glitch. When I got in the car, I realized that I had left my cell phone in his office! This is just one of those blonde traits that I am notorious for. So, I got back out of my car, entered the waiting room again and got in line behind the tape to go through the process again. Thankfully, the man I knew looked up saw me and Imotioned to him that I had left my phone. He made a quick call and the worker brought it out to me and I left. The funny thing was that he had called my cell phone to leave a message that I left it!

Well, when I got to the car, I realized a great deal. First, I realized how much the circumstances I have been in over the last few years has humbled me and that we never know when we will find ourselves on "the other side of the glass" and that it could happen to anyone! I also realized that , now, I can relate more to my clients and how they feel since for most of them, this is part of their daily lives. All this brought tears to my eyes.

The big picture is this. God is our father always teaching and molding us if we will just try to look at it from the right perspective! Everything that happens to us is, in the end in our best interest. And no matter what happens, nothing can separate us from the Love of God! We just have to let Him be the pilot and learn as we go!

Hope you got something from this as I did. If so, please comment. I always get the ones that are emailed.

Hugs to you all.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Prayer Quilt

This is a prayer quilt that my mom and her quilting

class made for me. They all prayed over it so that

makes it very special to me. It matches my purple


Monday, August 17, 2009

My Kids

This is my handsome son, Zack with my beautiful
daughter, Stephanie at her graduation from Berry
College in June, 2009. I am so proud of both of them!


This is a new scarf that my mom bought me. I wore it for the
first time the other day. I like durags and bandanas most days
but love scarves to wear to church. I like being bald around the
house. Sometimes I forget all about it when I'm home. It just
feels natural now!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

The Applause of Heaven by Max Lucado

I had to get back on my blog and write about this book.
First of all, you need to know that I am not a reader of fictional books. Instead I try to read something that will speak to me and improve me as a person. This is one of those truly life changing books. I read it about a month ago and decided that it made such an impact on me that i would hilight important parts. I soon realized that I would be highlighting most of the book! If i could, i would give each of you a copy. I can't though so I will include some exerps in my blog. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did. Buy the book!

From The Applause of Heaven by Max Lucado

What type of joy can Jesus give us?

"It is called sacred delight.
It is sacred because it is not of the earth.
What is sacred is God's and this joy is God's.
It is delight because delight can both satisfy and surprise.

Delight is Bethlehem shepherds dancing a jig outside a cave.
Delight is Mary watching god sleep in a feed trough.
Delight is a while haired Simeon praising God who is about to be circumcised.
Delight is Joseph teaching the creater of the world how to hold a hammer. ....

What is sacred delight?
It is God doing what gods would be doing in only your wildest dreams-wearing diapers, riding donkeys, washing feet, dozing in storms. ....

It's having God as your pinch-hitter, your lawyer, your dad, your biggest fan and your best friend.
God on your side, in your heart, out in front, and protectecting your back.

And it is this sacred delight that Jesus promises in the sermon on the mount. Nine times he promises it and he promisesit to an unlikely crowd."

Amazing! MORE LATER.

Awesome day!

Hey! I had a really awesome day. Roger is off for the weekend so we have taken advantage of it. We went out to eat last night then breakfast together this morning. then we rode his motorcycle to the pocket where i had to stick my feet in the water. it was as cold as i remembered as a child! It was a great ride the weather couldn't have been better! thank you , God I needed it! When we got back, had lunch then he got our cars cleaned up then we went to store and cooked spaghetti for us and boys! It was the most fun i have had in a while. the symptoms of the shot are easing up, didn't even have to take stomach meds! And i did use my hand gel and be cautious. I actually wanted to go to the movies last night but Roger said i was crazy and reminded me that i wasn't supposed to be in crowds! duh! bad idea. but I had an awesome weekend so far anyway. I am planning on going to church tomorrow, had to miss wed night, was sick. Well, it's 7:00. everyone has gone. I am going to sit back, relax and maybe read. I hope God blessed you today like he did me! Hugs to you all!

Thank you Jesus for giving me day of being normal again! He is always right on time and supplies ALL our needs!

Friday, August 14, 2009

ups and downs this week!

Hey friends.
I haven't been on in a few days. i'll tell you, it's been a roller coaster ride this week, a difficult time. I told you about the shot i got sun that made me so sick. well , mon was terrible but tuesday a pretty good day. wednesday, not so good but thursday and today i found that if i could force myself to get up, get a bath and get goin, i would feel better so that's what i have done. this week has definitely been the sickest and weakest i have felt yet.

My sister in law took me to my appointment today so it was kind of fun having someone different to talk to. also, she is a very good motivator and very positive. I had my blood checked. white blood cell levels were low but not as low as they were a week ago and platelets were within range. My doctor wrote a prescription for some wierd mouthwash because of this icky stuff in my mouth (gross, i know) that he says is the result of a low immune system. he also put me back on an antibiotic for seven days. the best part of all is that , next treatment he is gonna reduce the chemo dosage a little since i'm so run down and i won't have to get the nulesta shot. just have to be careful in large crowds etc.....

Afterwards my sister in law and i went to eat at olive garden and i ate a ton of salad and a wonderful dessert with fruit, sorbet and custard! i ate and ate the salad. it was so good and so far have tolerated it pretty well. So, all in all a pretty good day. i told her she was driving ms daisy and she said no, you have the daisy car, my beetle.

Other blessings this week: Two of my best friends came over wed night and brought me a card and one friend even gave me a head massage! I got several cards in the mail which always makes my day, talked tomy nephews in california and zack seemed to have a good week at school. I wore two really cool scarves for the first time and got my toes painted. And guess what, a friend said God had laid me on her heart and she and others from church are bringing dinner for next two weeks!! God is awesome and so are His people. I also was able to go to a meeting for work and one home visit so at least made a little money. so , all and all not a bad week!
Hugs to all my family and friends!


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

God is always right on time~!

Hello, friends. I haven't blogged in a couple of days. I want to update you on what's been going on.
I had my second treatment on fri which went fine. I was okay fri and sat just a little tired. On sunday at 9:00 a.m I had to go in and get a nulesta shot to keep my wbc count up. This is because my counts went down after my first treatment and, because my immune systme was down, had to isolate for fear of contracting a bacterial infection.

So, on sun morning, zack and I drove up to memorial so I could get the shot. There were six or eight other people there, the rest of the center was closed so all i had to do was sign up and get my shot so in about 30 min we were headed back to dalton. we came to house for a few minutes then headed to church.

This was my first time going to church bald wearing a hat and since roger had just started working a job third shift, he couldn't be there with me. it was not like i was alone though, zack, garrett, and another friend sat with me. I don't know what came over me, i just started crying, tears pouring down my face. friends were coming up to me hugging me and giving me so much support, but i just couldnt stop. then, I started feeling so bad, I couldn't even focus on the singing or preaching. All I could think was I had to get to Roger. He has a way of making me feel at peace. After telling Zack I was leaving, i headed straight over to Rogers where he was sleepin after working all night. I just crawled up beside him, crying. He didn't know what was wrong but I felt at ease and was able to go to sleep for a couple of hours. The same sick, weak, achy feeling continued sunday and monday. my mom came over and cooked and cleaned for me. that's really about all i remember. I was an emotional wreck and "sick as a dog".

Well, i know that many people had started praying for me. I got some emails from ladies at the church and spoke to a couple of my christian friends and thankfully, when I got up this morning, i didn't feel as bad. I went back to sleep until about 11, then got up, showered and met a friend for lunch! i spent some time with stephanie, my daughter and my mom and went to my work meeting! The sick feeling had subsided just leaving me a little weak. I was able to eat two meals and even a snack! I am so thankful. God is good and is always on time. Prayers went up and a blessing came down! Thank you to everyone who lifted me up in prayer! It really does worked. I could feel the calmness coming over me today. I am now ready to face tomorrow and the next day and the next! God's anchor always holds and his word is true!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

This is my cat , Ollie. He is about two years old now. When I took this pic he was only a few months. He is very , very fat now and is such a mouser. I will post a more current pic later and one of Rusy, our terrier.

Friday, August 7, 2009

One more treatment down,had good cry,God is good

Hey everyone. I hope that you have had an awesome week and a wonderful weekend planned.
I had my second round of the "red devil" regiment today. My counts were up so i was happy about that. the treatment went over pretty well except for a minor mixup with my meds. never be too shy to second check docs and nurses. They make mistakes too. I didn't speak up and it caused a minor, no dangerous mistake on following docs orders on my iv. next time i will speak up.
I had told you before that i thought Roger had the day off but he didnt. My mom was prepared to take me as always. Honestly, i didn' know how they would react to seeing me bald today and seeing the chemo going in the port. I know it is very painful for them. But my mom is a very strong woman and she did great, prepared and getting me everything I needed. I haven't said enough about my parents. They have been here for me every step of the way and I know it breaks their hearts. I couldn't imagine seeing my daughter go through this. I sometimes think its harder on my parents, kids and roger than it is me. Anyway , my parents are awesome doing everything from cooking, fixing my car and helping me on bills. my mom even cooks me the dessert i want which is kind of wierd since my taste has gone haywire!
Roger and I left my mom and dad's about 9:15. He had to go home to get in the routine to work night shift tomorrow night. I have to say i really didn't understand why he couldn't come over, and i didn't want to come home alone. But I will tell you that God always knows what we need. Before leaving , Roger gave me a kiss and said "bye pretty face" that was so what i needed tohear. have not been feelin pretty today with no hair. I had a good cry realizing has put people in my life to get me through this moment. My parents are still alive and able to take care of me and be there and Roger andmy other friends always know when i need a little "pick me up." Then I started thinking that if my family here love me this much, then how much does my heavenly father, my creator love me? enought to send his son to dye for me! i can't even comprehend it. But right now i am thankful that God opens our eyes during these moments giving us a glimpse of his love. As the verse on my blog says , nothing, not death or life,nor angels or demons can separate us from God's love! And the way he works through people to show his fingerprints is so amazing.
Well, i've had my cry and really feel good in my soul. I'm sure you can relate to that. i'm gonna get to bed and get ready for another day tomorrow and i will rejoice and be glad in in.
Please leave comments. night!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Still Blah

Hi. I hope everyone is doing awesome.

The pic to the left is my friend Lucrecia who cut my hair and me.
I thought it would be interesting to include a pic with every post.

I woke up this morning feeling alright. I walked Rusty, did some laundry, straightened the kitchen and checked my email. By this time I was tired. I laid back down and slept until after lunchtime then back up, ate lunch and just hanging around house.

The good news is that the nausua has been better today. My sister -in law brought me a fist sandwich and fries for lunch which I was able to eat. I think my wbc levels are slowly rising. I am just to the point that I don't feel bad enough to sleep all day but don't feel good enough to do anything. I feel very exhausted and achy all over. So I am just kind of in Blah! land if you know what i mean. I don't have enough stamina to do much but not exhausted enough to sleep.

I am wondering if I will get my second round of chemo in the morning if my levels are still below normal. I guess I'll see at 8:30 in the morning. The good news is I think Roger will be able to take me to treatment. So, I guess I'm just hangin in. If you have any scripture for me , please share it.


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Florida pics

This pic is from floria. I still had my long hair. Roger bought me a pink florida gator cap and i put my hair up and put it on to see how it would look with no hair! We had an awesome time. so happy together. i didn't want to come home and start treatment!

Good bye hair!

Well, when I got up this morning, I ran my fingers through my hair and got a big wad. Don't know how long it will take until i'm bald but it seems to be coming out pretty quick today. Being a woman and bald just doesn't seem to go together. i've known this would happen for a month but still no way to prepare for it. it is just something you have to experience.

I am still pretty tired and some headache and nausua. I am hoping this will subside by my treatment fri. please be in prayer that my system is up before the next treatment. This is a very hard thing to go through. I sympathasize with anyone who is going through or has been through this. Chemo is rough and some days i feel like it is kickin my butt! But then God gives me a brand new day and sends people with encouraging words or i have a good cry and things are better.

Did I tell you roger got a job after being unemployed for four months? he started training this week from seven to seven and i don't even get to talk to him on breaks. it is really hard, because he's been with me each day, each step of the way. i miss him like crazy!

Well after the next treatment i will get the shop that keeps my wbc countup. maybe that will keep me from feelin so lousy and iwill be able towork more. i miss my clients!

Well, i guess that's all for now. Roger will be off in 21 minutes and i need to call and check on zack.

The best high is the most high!


Monday, August 3, 2009

Back to Memorial!

Hey everyone. I hope you all had a blessed day!
i started havin a bad headache about eight o clock last night and it went on all night. it was so bad I was up about two o'clock til three o'clock. i called my oncologist and he wanted me to come in. They took blood and I found out that my white blood counts were still low but my platelets were beginning to come up. He said they would expect them to be rising by the seventeenth day of treatment and was afraid that i might pick up a bacterial infection. He also said that after my next treatment I would get a shot to help my levels stay up in normal range.
He prescribed me two antibiotics for seven days and something to relieve my headaches. the bad thing is he thinks the headaches are a side effect of the med i am taking for nausua.
So, I am still in until fri. Hopefully by then, my counts will be back up and stay up for at least a week. it really makes a difference in how i feel i have learned!
The bad part of it all is that i can't work and i don't get paid if i don't make my visits. so, i am pretty broke. but i also know that the Bible tells me that "God will supply all my needs according to his riches in heaven."
I do have a praise. Zack drove me to doctor and we were able to talk some. He really is an awesome boy. I also saw Steph last night for a while. And Roger started training for his new job. Please pray for him. It is 12 hour shifts and he has been out for a while.
I want to recommend reading Psalm 27. i just read it a few minutes ago. it is awesome.
One thing I still know is the God is good through it all.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Saturday night

Hey everyone.

It is saturday night. I've stayed home for the past two days except for going out an hour today when a friend came by and took me to eat. we used hand gel, hand gel, hand gel and didn't touch anyone. We have watched movies and roger and I cooked spaghette. Zack has been home all day and Garrett came over with Roger so it has been awesome having him here.

Still tired and not much appetite but those are normal side effects. We are having our groundbreaking ceremony at church tomorrow and i am debating going and sitting in the car! Will see how i feel in the morning.

Well, I have managed to stay awake today without napping. that's improvement. Looking forward to a "normal" week next week before friday's treatment.

Guess what. Roger is starting his new job monday. it's third shift so i'm sure it will take some getting used to. I am a little disappointed he probably wont get to go with me for my second treatment since he works fri. he has a calming , soothing effect on me. it really helped to have him there for the first. But I will make it. we all have to do what we have to do!

Everyone thinks it's odd that my hair hasn't come out yet! it hasn't even thinned. Who knows, Maybe God plans to keep it in. you know, he knows every hair on my head, so it's possible. We will just have to wait and see! Well have a good night and a blessed sunday!